I am a Co-Active CTI Coach based in Germany.
I did my Fundamentals-Process Modules in Heidelberg Germany, between 2013-2014.
Then I took a 2 years break and Founded Unleash Your Power, Published some poetry, created some seminars and came back in 2016 and completed the Synergy Module.
So I have seen & been part of 2 CTI Groups or Tribes between 2013-2016.
Currently in a way I am hardly in touch with anyone from either of the 2 tribes, and I want to share some thoughts and perspective on why Tribes disintegrate and What possibly can be done to re-convene at least with those Coach Colleagues who still feel a sense of community with the tribe.
1. My Own Raw Edges
When I started the CTI Journey in 2013, I was extremely Raw. On the personal side, I had recently lost then someone in my Family at that time. On the business side, I was upset with Corporate Cultures in Management Consulting firms and all the underlying dirty politics and facades and on the Creative side I was feeling quiet impatient about not giving fuel to my creative work and somehow just going through the motions in a unsatisfying Corporate Job.
That's how I started the CTI Journey. The most raw side was the personal loss. Which I wanted to absolutely cover so nothing of that is discussed with anyone.
In fact all through out my journey from Fundamentals to Process, I was even on 1-2 occasions debating with the Course Leaders at times, that I don't even have a Coaching topic to really discuss with my colleagues, because everything is fine, so just give me the tools and techniques of Coaching so we can get over with the learning module.
Later over the years, I realized that of-course there were lot of things going on, but I didn't know how to trustfully share that with the group, I had barely come to know over few weekends.
And so I had my own masks in 2013 during the CTI journey to not be completely vulnerable and open about the different things going on and explore that in the CTI crucible of module seminars.
In fact grief can have such strange and invisible ways to make itself apparent that I even snapped at some of my Coaching colleagues during the course, simply because I could not keep Grief Handling and CTI Coach Education as separate as I wanted to at that time and I felt sometimes that the subterannean shadow is erupting in a way that the self management piece is going out of the window.
Of-course the Course Leaders were telling us at that time, that this is all great learning. So take risks, go courageously into areas you want to avoid and look at conflicts in the eye.
But it was a roller coaster ride when I remember experiencing those CTI Modules, and the days and duration between the modules, and my attempt at trying to segregate things and often realizing in the evenings that the subterannean shadow has it's own ways of expressing.
2. I went away after Process Module
After Process which was an Intense experience just like previous Modules like Balance, Fulfillment, Fundamentals, I decided to take a break and work on Unleash Your Power.
I spoke to some Course Leaders in Germany and told them that somehow I feel this inner conflict of just being in a conveyor belt of coach training program with rapid fire of 1 module after another, and I need some time to absorb this, digest it and manifest it in my own work before I come back to CTI.
The credit to the sensitivity of the Course Leaders is that they encouraged that I hear my inner voice and take some time off if that's what will help me to carve my life purpose more authentically.
So 2014 to 2016 I was doing lot of Poetry, Seminars and in general learning the ropes about Unleash Your Power.
In 2016, I went back to CTI and finished the Synergy Module and there I met the Tribe 2. (Another 20 Fellow Coaches in Germany).
3. Now It's 2018
In the last 5 years since starting CTI path, I have assisted in several CTI Seminars in Germany, and it was a great opportunity because it helped me to revisit the training again and experience them from a new perspective and experiencing to hold the space as an Assistant.
I also see that there is hardly any contact with the CTI Tribes I met in the last 5 years.
Now I am in touch with some CTI Coaches from Europe & USA, because recently I joined some CTI Online Coach Groups and I began to meet some Coaches through Triad Coaching etc.
But in Germany I am hardly in touch with any Coaches as such.
And I think one of the reasons is that it perhaps takes 4-5 years after the Coach training to truly marinate and blend the learning of our own experiences, our own inner archetypes and to be more calm, serene and blended from the journey we have made while we developed ourselves as the Coaches.
And of course during this "marinating" and "blending" time we go through as Coaches, we can step on some shoes inadvertently, or make some faux-pas inadvertently, or suddenly have our Saboteurs coming up, which inhibit us to fully engage with our tribes from space of authenticity.
I remember in 2016, I left the Whatsapp Group of the CTI Coaches, because I felt I have to handle so many new challenges that I don't have the patience to read 20 messages a day on Whatsapp.
Of-course in 2017, I was smiling at this and nodding my head, because this is exactly what we have to learn to deal with, to handle challenges and handle everything is there in Life including the 20 Whatsapp messages a day.
So the point is, the group probably felt in 2016 that I don't care, but my story was that, I am feeling overwhelmed with chit-chats and I want to focus on challenges and find a way.
So these can be very minor faux-pas or inadvertent stepping on the toes
but the point is that this can easily create a rift or divide where none actually was meant.
Ofcourse after 5 years of CTI Journey and experience, one can just simply smile with oneself and realize, Wow!! What a heck of a journey and Wow!! What a heck of a learning. And feel grateful for all the learnings and adventures it brought along with it.
And feel thankful about the whole journey till now as such, and the new colleagues of CTI I recently met through Triads and Peer Coaching groups.
What I want to leave you with, is a simple summary : If you are new in the CTI Journey and struggling at times to find the most authentic way to relate with your tribe, then just have patience and compassion for yourself and your Coach colleagues. (They are also struggling with their topics, just like you are with yours).
And if you can give it some time like 3-4 years and stay in a curious space instead of judgement space, most likely you will find a good way to relate with your tribe and Coach groups, in a deeply authentic and amazing way.
Be Patient. Don't just shake your head and say "This whole tribe thing is not working". Who knows in 4-5 years you may learn so much about the tribe dynamics and about yourself.
Your tribe most likely has some awesome and amazing people in it despite the friction and the occasional conflicts. But it may take you some years of further experience to sense that.
And that's totally fine.
That's part of learning about ourselves as we shape ourselves as the Coaches who can go and serve other humans in precisely these kind of dilemmas they may be seeing on their sides.
That's all for now.
Thank you for having the patience to have read this far.
Just wanted to share this bit with you and my gratitude to CTI for everything I saw and experienced on the way and in a way it has felt like an adventure ride.
Ashish Anand (Founder, Unleash Your Power)